I work a lot. You probably noticed it in the lack of posts lately. For that I apologize. I daily have to deal with a lot of young ladies, some of which have the boldest in-your-face-stressful personality. But I really try my best to be as nice as possible and work as much as I can until the client is satisfied by what I do, even if it is because she can not make up her mind about what she really wants.
Sometimes there is so much pressure on my shoulders that I barely can breath because of panic attacks and just break down and cry. I may not show it publicly on the blog, I may not let a lot of people see me in those moments, but they happen. From the outside my story and latest success must seem pretty perfect and easy attained. However, only I know how many nights I spent working, how many times I had break-downs just because I could not handle the pressure anymore probably also because I was so tired from all the work. I put a lot into it, I always try to be as friendly as possible and open minded as to do only what the client wants. And it pains me to see that there are always few who stress the hell out of me and who simply treat me bad, some who believe that I have nothing else to concentrate on, but their order.
I can not please everybody, even if I wanted to. Nor can I always make the compromises myself. I can not create hand-embroided couture dresses in a couple of days for a very low amount of money. I am not just a seamstress, even if I do work client-orders. I can not copy dresses to make them look like the ones in pictures, made by some huge Paris fashion house. There will always be haters and the more exposure I get, the more people there are who have something against me. All I can do is try to filter the orders, have the guts to refuse the ones that I do not want to make and concentrate on the ones that matter. When one works with pleasure and without being stressed, it is obvious in the result. If the designer-client dynamics is wrong, nothing turns out right. But enough with the lessons learned, let us concentrate on moving on and re-discovering the fun in making fashion again. Am desperately seeking it.
This was me taking a deep breath of air and continuing with the work, trying to overcome the stress. Above, you can see me choosing fabrics recently. Florina took the pictures. I love to shop for fabrics. Can not wait to start thinking about the new collection.